Sun 1 Feb 2009
Man is full of likes and dislikes. He can be called a bundle of these. Each and everybody has his own likes and dislikes, preferences and hatreds. And I am no exception to the rule. My likes and dislikes are sharp and definite. I am very clear about them. I am not ashamed to own them. I have many dislikes. But the thing I dislike most is flattery.
Many people consider flattery an art. They feel proud of it. The use it as a powerful means to achieve success. And most of the people like flattery. They always want to be told pleasant things. They want blind admiration and praise. They cannot tolerate criticism, even when it is right. I really pity such people. they are really fools. They are blind to the realities of life. They are constantly living in illusion.
Flattery is nothing but false praise and administration. It is used to make a fool of others to serve selfish ends. Today the world is full of flatterers and fools. In my opinion both the flatterer and the flattered are fools. Their attitude to life and realities is that of an ostrich.
People do not differentiate between flattery and sincere praise. A genuine praise or admiration is from the core of the heart. It is true, sincere and without an axe to grind. I always welcome and appreciate genuine praise. There are many great and beautiful persons and things. They deserve our admiration. They are worth our appreciation. It is our duty to praise them, to bring out their worth in open. But flattery disgusts me. I hate a flatterer like an enemy. I regard him as a very dangerous person.
But the world of today is full of flatterers. People use it blindly in flattering others. And in return want to be flattered. There is no sincerity, no truth, no reality in what they say. In talks, lectures, conversations, writings etc., there are false, sweet and pleasant words. They all are meaningless, empty and selfish. To me they make no sense, no appeal. I am fed up with such people. that is why my friend circle is very limited. I like frank, sincere and truthful people.
People use flattery on every occasion. They have got used to it. They use it as a weapon to serve personal profits. They use it to gain rewards, favors, patronage or some such other advantage. It has become a cottage industry without any investment. The dividends in this business are rewarding. Flatterers use their lips and collect rich returns.
In my opinion, flattery is a bait, sweet poison which should be avoided. It degrades us. To praise a decent and disserving thing is natural. But false words of praise make me furious. It is selfishness not to encourage and appreciate good work. But it is equally a bad thing to indulge in gales admiration and flattery. We should discriminate between them. It is one of our basic weaknesses to flatter and receive flattery. We often overestimate our worth and value and expect people to praise us sky high. We should guard against this tendency. Only then we shall be able to distinguish between a friend and flatterer.
It is more dangerous when you flatter yourself. There is no such flatterer as a man?s own self. Self-flatterer is a worst kind of person. One should be detached, objectives and analytical in judging one?s own value and worth. One should be frank, hard and critical in such matters. That is why its said that man is his own friend or enemy. Those who flatter themselves, have false sense of pride and praise. They are their worst enemies. I have nothing but deep dislike for such people.
This tendency of mine has made me an unwelcome guest with many people. They don?t like my frank, sincere and factual opinion. They expect me to praise each and everything they say or do. But I never care about them. I want friendship and company but not at the cost of plain speaking. I have some friends who really cherish my friendship. They value much my frank and truthful opinion, criticism and appreciation.
